Who would've thought I'd find more of myself wearing less clothes?
I started off like a good 60% of my clients. I wanted to gift my at the time fiance a cute little black book with some sexy photos of me on our wedding day. You know, something different. For his eyes only kind of deal. Little did I know what was in store. See I was probably the heaviest I've EVER been, I'm talking a solid 298lbs, and wanted to also see myself the way he saw me. Much like many of my clients, I didn't see myself as sexy. I was always the loud mouth, tattooed, smart ass, who happened to be educated. I wasn't by any means the "pretty one" in the family.
“If you lose 100 lbs. I'll buy you your wedding dress." " You'd be a lot prettier if you'd lose some weight.""At least you're educated.”
So you can imagine my surprise when I finally saw the woman in the photo above. I was brought to tears to see, I could in fact be sexy. Sure I had cellulite but what I finally saw was a woman who took a chance on herself and fucking won!
What's the opposite of snowballing? Well, whatever it is... that happened.
My boudoir photo shoot catapulted not only my confidence but it opened so many opportunities I can't even believe. (#boudoir #boudoirphotoshoot #selflove) Like what you might ask. Well, I recognized my worth and realized I was in an extremely toxic relationship, (both of us were pretty toxic and immature), I called off my wedding weeks before I was supposed to get married because, if I can see my worth why THE FUCK will I marry someone who doesn't also see it and appreciate, and helped me move on and finish my masters degree.
Don't root for me just yet, there's plenty of twists and turns in this story. But for now, know that's exactly how Kim got her groove back. (If you're too young for this reference, please go away. Just kidding. Don't go read the book or watch the movie.) What I'm getting at is, my boudoir photography business would not have started had I not taken a chance on myself and given myself permission to tap into a side of myself so many told I wasn't worthy of having because I carried so much weight. Fuck those beauty standards. I'm here to tell you, DO THE PHOTO SHOOT AND GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE THE FUCKING BADASS YOU KNOW YOU CAN BE.