Updated: Aug 10
Like with any relationship, you want to be sure you and your boudoir photographer are on the same page. What to look for, what questions to ask, and so much more.
Boudoir, Erotic, Nude, Plus-Size ... Oh My Where do I start!!!
"Wait there's more to boudoir than just some sexy photos?!?" Yes Babe, there is but I'm here to break it down for you. A few of the things I love to go over with all of my clients is what sparked their interest in experiencing a boudoir session, what they hope to gain, and how spicy they want their session to be. This helps me gain insight to what you truly want captured within both our boundaries.
"Okay Kim, this is starting to sound like a lot...". It really isn't Babe, I'm here to break down how to help me help you gain the most for your boudoir session!
Tip #1 -Be honest with yourself...
When I ask what my clients the infamous, "what sparked your interest in a boudoir session" question. I often hear things such as, wanting to gift some "sexy pics" to their significant other for an upcoming birthday, anniversary, and/or holiday. But as the conversation continues, it's usually because they've lost a sense of who they are. They want to regain the connection to their sensuality and sexuality too. It's almost like they're looking for a justification other than themselves to do the photoshoot. So I tell them it's okay to give themselves the permission to do the damn thing. No shame or guilt over it. After all, they look out for everyone else's needs, it's time to make it about them.
Tip #2 - "Okay fine, yes! This is really for me...what now?"
Good Job! You've accepted it's okay to treat yo'self! So what now? "This is all so new to me. I don't often do much for myself." Well, take a deep breath in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, hold it 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and exhale. You good? Repeat as necessary and when you're ready ----> I know this can be a little nerve wrecking but I'm here to break it down for you a bit. Some of my clients are looking to gain a sense of confidence after a major life changing event such as: becoming a mom, going through a horrible divorce, or finally falling in love with their body. Others have wanted to spice up their marriage/long-term relationship. "Kim it's just we've fallen into a routine and don't have the same fun we used to in the bedroom. I feel he/she doesn't look at me the way they used to." While some want to do it just because it's their 30th, 40th, 50th birthday and they want to capture their essence to reflect on when they're older and show their children how they loved and accepted themselves despite this cruel world tried to tell them they weren't enough. (that's one of my favorites give those beauty standards the middle finger Babe!!! I digress.) Whatever the reason, know this, it's valid!
The "carpe diem" attitude of surviving a pandemic plays a role, too. Benham says that the clients coming to her studio are seeing their lives in a different light than they did before the pandemic. "My clients are tackling their bucket list. The uncertainty of COVID-19 makes people want to take risks. They know they only live once." – Ashley Benham
Tip #3 - "Do I have to get naked?"
One of the most common questions I am asked is, "how revealing do I have to get during the boudoir session" and the answer is simple, it's up to you. If you select me as your boudoir photographer, I'm comfortable meeting my client where they're at and what they want to explore. I take pride in being able to provide a save space for my client to reconnect with themselves during their boudoir photoshoot. If you choose to go with another photographer, be sure to ask them what they are comfortable shooting. Some are okay with nudity but not necessarily erotica. Some may have experience working with plus size bodies while others may be nervous about it but any professional should have a well rounded portfolio to showcase their ability to capture EVERY body!
Tip #4 - Ask about their "why"?
In a world where everyone wants to "empower" women, I find it's easy to get lost in the sauce.
Let me try and explain this the best way I can. When I booked my first session, I was wanting to do it as a gift for my at the time fiance, so I just found someone who provided the service. I didn't realize I was going to get a bunch of images where she was trying to "hide my perceived flaws. So when I booked my second, I asked her about her why and it matched up with mine so I knew she was going to help be embrace my flaws while also capturing my curves and all the things I love about myself. So ask your photographer about their "why"and if it aligns with yours then book the sesh Babe!
As for me and my why, I'm tired of being told by others what is attractive and want to redefine it. I strongly believe true beauty starts from within and the ability to connect with one's emotions. We're often told we need to be "confident" but not too much or we'll come off as arrogant and scare people off; we have to be "sexy" but not too sexy because people will think we're "sluts or promiscuous" (fuck the slut shammers), embrace your feminine energy but don't be too vulnerable because they'll think you're weak. FUCK THAT! The sooner you're able to live your truth, the happier you'll be. Again, I'm here to remind you, you don't need anyone else's permission but your own to connect with yourself! Also, I pride myself in helping people not only connect with their authentic self but I get to capture and share it them too.
Tip #5 - Book all the calls and consultations!
If your boudoir photographer offers a phone call or consultation, BOOK IT! I can't iterate it enough. This is how you connect with your photographer. "Kim, you're making it seem like we have to have some sort of connection...is it necessary?" Again, to put it simply, YES! Ever see a photo that kind of falls a little flat. Like it's a pretty picture but you can tell the person was a little uncomfortable maybe even forced? Odds are there wasn't a genuine connection between the photographer and client. And that's okay for just about any other genre of photography but for boudoir, it's important. You're about to get really vulnerable during this session, can you do this with a stranger? I mean there are those who can, but, a good majority of people take a while to warm up. I personally offer a free phone consultation before booking because I want you to be sure to see if we're a good match and then I offer a video or in person consultation to go over any questions or concerns you may have. Remember it's okay to be nervous but let me help you convert those nerves into feelings of excitement.
What I'm getting at is: Have fun but do your research.
As a professional boudoir photographer and as someone who's had a few sessions herself, I always want clients to be well informed even if they don't book with me. If you want to see if we're a good match feel free to book a consultation here: https://www.allureboudoirbykim.com/book-online I'd be happy to go over all the deets! Show this post some love and let us know what you think in the comments below if you think this helped you!